In this episode, I share more about how this truth has played out in my own life — and the steps you can take to make it real in yours.
When God’s Love Seems Absent
So growing up, I had a very abusive childhood.
I have two younger sisters. But for some reason, since birth, my father had singled me out. He was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. He treated me with intense cruelty.
My mother really didn’t do much to stop his actions. So while I came into the world naturally joyful, creative, and full of encouragement for others, as the years passed, I began to lose myself.
I became quiet. Depressed. Full of anxiety and stress because I never knew what he would do next.
And every time there seemed to be a spot of light or hope, it was quickly snuffed out.
And there wasn’t much hope to be found.
My parents weren’t social; they didn’t really have friends. They weren’t part of any organizations. And we never really went anywhere except to run errands.
This meant that I was imprisoned in an extremely dark place without any outside help or witnesses. There wasn’t a pastor, or family friend, or close colleague of my parents’ that I could help.
At the time, it would’ve been easy – even as a teenager – to look around and think, “God’s love is not here. I don’t see any evidence of it. All I can see is constant pain, torment, and darkness.”
But I didn’t really know God then.
Even when He first tried to get my attention as a teenager, I dismissed Him because I didn’t have an understanding of His character and Who He actually is.
Years later, though, after I entered into a real relationship with God and began to learn (from a genuine biblical source that He provided) about His true character, I looked back and hindsight and realized His love had actually been present. I just hadn’t recognized it for what it was at the time.
For example, there was an older couple who lived down the street from us. For some reason, Mr. Spitznogle took a liking to me.
He would wait for me to pass on my way home. He’d stand there in his driveway as I walked down the hill from the bus stop and then chat with me for a few minutes.
At times, I would be annoyed by it. (I’m an introvert and I have something called Sensory Processing Sensitivity – which means, after being stuck around a lot of noisy kids all day, I was often in dire need of my quiet room.)
But Mr. Spitznogle was actually a blessing. Because of my parents’ lack of social connections, I didn’t have anyone else to influence my life. To treat me with love and kindness.
So God – ever the master planner – had ensured that the house we’d moved into before I started second grade was down the street from a couple who would be kind to me.
Another example is the group of friends that I had from second grade until high school.
Soon after starting at my new school, I ended up part of a close-knit group of friends.
We added a few girls to the group as we moved on to middle school and high school – making the group larger but just as tight-knit.
And all of us were creative in some way. Writing, drawing, photography, singing, playing an instrument.
When we were about 9 years old, Disney released the original The Little Mermaid – which was the beginning of their (at the time) kinda golden age of animated films that included Beauty & the Beast and Aladdin.
We were so immersed in the creativity of those films! I still have little books and drawings of those characters that I made back then.
Then as teenagers we got into comics and were huge fans of the original X-Men Saturday morning cartoon.
My point here is that while my life at home was abusive and dark and consistently eroding who God created me to be…He had also supplied me with a group of friends that not only remained permanent throughout my childhood (which was special even back then) but protected the creativity that I was at risk of losing.
And creativity is a very integral part of who I am.
These are just two examples from a list of many. But I wasn’t able to see them at the time.
I didn’t understand Who God is
I didn’t know how to spot His love
I felt swallowed up by stress, abuse, and darkness
And that’s what my focus was on – surviving the darkness.
This doesn’t have to be the case for you, though, my friend.
Maybe you’ve been missing God’s love up until now (and again, there’s no reason for shame or guilt), but that can change moving forward.
All it takes is some mindset work and practical exercise.
The Importance of Renewing Your Mind
Romans 12:2 (NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
The Passion Translation says it this way: “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”
When the Bible talks about “renewing our minds” it means two things:
Mainly, God’s work in us through the Holy Spirit
But that work often goes hand-in-hand with proactive mindset work
The latter can seem counter-cultural.
After all, what culture tells us is that our internal thought life, mindsets, perspectives, and worries will change after the outside circumstances have changed.
For example, our thought life and worries about money will change after we get that promotion.
The Bible, however, tells us that everything starts with the internal changes.
Instead of worrying about finances, we’re to give our worries to God (1 Peter 5:7) and trust Him to provide.
Thus, our internal state – including our mindset – is rooted in God’s character and love versus the external circumstances.
Working on your mindset is a game-changer. It’s one of the things I wish I’d grasped earlier on in my walk with God.
And it’s something you can begin to work on now, even though you’re still learning about who God really is.
And as you do, you’ll be able to spot His love for you more and more frequently. Not just in hindsight, but in the present and the future.
Listen to Episode #208 for two practical exercises that you can start doing today to accomplish that.