In this episode, I share more about how this truth has played out in my own life — and the steps you can take to make it real in yours.
The Many Ways I Didn’t Fit In
When I became a Christian, I was in my early 20s. At the time, I was married and living in a small town.
Soon afterward, God directed me to attend a non-denominational church down the road. I attended for six or seven years.
👉🏻 I never felt truly seen or accepted, being that I was living in a geographical region where I wasn’t the norm in several ways.
📈 Firstly, I was in my early 20s.
The 20-something crowd was non-existent in this state.
Kids graduated high school and eagerly attended college out-of-state.
Some moved back home in their 30s once they were married and had started a family.
👰🏻♀️ Secondly, I was married to a non-Christian.
I entered into a relationship with God two years into my marriage. My ex-husband wanted nothing to do with God or the church.
That made me a unique case.
The church I attended consisted of mostly married couples and their families.
There were only a small handful of single or divorced adults.
Thus, there wasn’t a natural place for me to fit in.
I ended up joining the young adults group. But it was mostly made-up of married couples in their 30s.
👭 Thirdly, I wasn’t like other women at the church.
Most of the women were married and/or had children, so their primary focus was on the home and family.
In addition, most of the volunteer roles within the church for women were limited to things like childcare, catering, and decorations.
Meanwhile, I didn’t have a family. And the relationship with my abusive ex-husband was strained and chaotic.
Plus, I had recently gone back to college and earned my Bachelor’s degree in web and graphic design.
I volunteered at the church in a unique capacity, spearheading the website and other media.
Thus, I didn’t have a lot in common with most of the other women.
🎨 And fourthly, I didn’t fit in with the region’s culture.
I grew up in a massive suburban area that was located forty minutes outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
From my childhood home, you could drive thirty minutes in either direction and access pretty much anything you could think of.
Plus, because downtown Pittsburgh was so close, I’d been on countless school field trips growing up to the Carnegie Art Museum, Natural History Museum, and Science Center.
That’s what the word “culture” meant to me. Visual art. Historical artifacts. Dance and musical expression.
Being that I’m so naturally creative, that kind of culture naturally aligned with who God created me to be.
But that wasn’t the culture that existed in the state where this church resided. It was more rural; lacked a major metropolitan area; and “the arts” usually referred to things that were handcrafted. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that; it just wasn’t my area of interest.)
Living in that state felt like being in a cultural desert. And when I tried to express that to someone from the church, who had lived in that area for most of their lives, they took offense even though I didn’t mean it that way.
⛪ I did not fit into the molds of the church or of the region it resided in. I was different – in multiple, foundational ways.
And you know what? That was totally okay.
It wasn’t comfortable. But I wasn’t alone because God was with me.
💝 God didn’t distance Himself from me because I was “different.” If anything, God remained close to me because He knew how much I needed Him.
And our relationship, and my understanding of who He is, deepened because of it.
🪴 God also grew me. Looking back two decades later, I can see how God used that church to start training me for the calling I have today.
He was preparing to use me for something new; and to create something new, God needs someone who is both faithful and different.
Your Differences Don’t Disqualify You From God’s Love
👉🏻 Take Mary Magdalene, for example.
In Luke 8:1-3 (NLT), we read: “Soon afterward Jesus began a tour of the nearby towns and villages, preaching and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom of God. He took his twelve disciples with him, along with some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases. Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons; Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s business manager; Susanna; and many others who were contributing from their own resources to support Jesus and his disciples.”
😢 Mary had been possessed by seven demons. This means:
One, she had a traumatic past. She had endured immense hardship, emotional and physical pain, and the reality that she was extremely different from everyone else.
Two, she had been socially misunderstood and marginalized. Demon possession wasn’t unknown at that time. Still, Mary would’ve been shunned and ostracized. Some people probably assumed she did something to deserve it. Others were likely uncomfortable around her and avoided her altogether. In other words, Mary was living on the edge of society – even among her own people, the Jews.
🥰 Yet God didn’t disqualify her or distance Himself from her. Instead, Jesus (the Son of God) healed her and invited her into His circle.
Mary (along with several other women) were part of Jesus’ ministry. They were right there with the disciples and their teacher (i.e., Jesus) which, in that day and age, was scandalous. Women were not included in that way.
Yet Mary’s story doesn’t stop there.
In Matthew 28:1-10, we read that Mary Magdalene was one of the women who discovered that Jesus’ tomb was empty and then saw the resurrected Jesus. Jesus revealed Himself to these women, including Mary, before anyone else. In fact, it was the women who went and told the disciples what had happened.
✝️ Not only had Jesus seen Mary’s suffering, healed her, and brought her into His circle, but she was one of the first witnesses to the resurrection.
Mary’s past and her differences didn’t disqualify her from a close relationship with God or having a profound calling.
💘 In fact, her differences allowed her to respond more deeply to God’s love for her.
🪞 It also made her a more powerful mirror of God’s love.
Mary had some amazing stories to tell. Jesus healing her from demon possession. Being part of His ministry and seeing His miracles and work firsthand. Being one of the first people to see the resurrected Jesus.
🎉 Mary Magdalene was different – but her differences weren’t her kryptonite as far as God was concerned. Instead, they ended up being her God-given superpower.