1. Find a Trusted Biblical Source
Now, I’m not saying this flippantly. I know that for a lot of you, finding genuine biblical truth has been a large part of the battle.
Maybe you’ve just been confused as to what’s genuine. Or, maybe like me, you’ve grown up in (or are currently living in) a geographical region where genuine biblical truth is just really hard to find.
So I know that the struggle has been very, very real. I’m not discounting that.
But, this is the first step. It has to start with biblical truth. Otherwise, you won’t know who God really is.
Now, I’m not going to tote myself here. I’m NOT going to say, “Luckily for you, I am your source of biblical truth and you can just rely on me.”
Yes, I have a solid foundation in biblical truth. However:
I want you to be equipped with some ways to identify if a source is biblically-centered - whether that source is myself or someone else. (I’ll come back to this in a moment.)
God may have other biblical sources that He plans to place in your life.
I am a work in progress - as we all are until the day God calls us home. Yes, God has given me a solid biblical education over the past two decades. But, I’m always learning and growing. I could say something on a related topic when I haven’t matured in it yet. I’m human, so I also make mistakes. I can misspeak on an episode, for example.
My point here is, when I’m talking about “finding a trusted biblical source,” I’m mostly speaking to arming you with wisdom. So you can identify - and continue to identify - if a source is rooted in biblical truth. If it’s a place that you can safely root yourself; that God can use to grow your knowledge and relationship with Him.
A minute ago, I referred to having some ways to identify whether a source is rooted in biblical truth. We can also call these markers.
Even though you’re at the beginning of your learning journey and therefore can’t compare what someone is teaching to what you know is biblically true, there are some ways that you can determine whether or not that source can be trusted:
One, you can pray about it. Prayer is simply having a conversation with God. So, even if praying is new to you or feels intimidating, know that it’s not complicated. Just ask God to guide your steps and keep you from unhelpful or inaccurate teaching. Even if you’re not used to hearing from God or recognizing those inner nudges from the Holy Spirit, God can direct your steps without you realizing it. Consider it an early exercise in trusting Him.
Two, even though you might not immediately understand everything someone is teaching, what you do learn should provide:
More clarity than confusion
A-ha! or breakthrough moments where progress has been made (however small)
An overall sense of feeling God’s love and/or feeling closer to God (rather than further away)
Feelings like love, acceptance, invitation, being seen (versus feeling condemned, shamed, etc.).
1 Corinthians 14:33 (NLT) says, “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.” In the Message version it says, “When we worship the right way, God doesn’t stir us up into confusion; he brings us into harmony.”
God is a God of order and clarity. Now, of course, this doesn’t mean that we get instant clarity on everything. We’re on a spiritual learning journey that spans our entire lives. Plus, God takes us in steps that won’t overwhelm us. Sometimes, He needs to untangle a lot and will lovingly take us slowly through that process.
But this does mean that genuine biblical teaching will leave you with things like clarity and a sense of peace.
You’ll also come away feeling closer to God - not further from Him.
2. Get Laser Focused on God’s Character
When you’ve identified a trusted biblical source (or two), the next step in your strategy is to focus on God’s character. This is pivotal.
But this might sound contrary to what you’ve been told in the past - especially if the emphasis has been on what you need to do or how God is or isn’t meeting your requests.
Yet, God’s character is where you need to start. It’s where you need to reset in order to get where you’ve been struggling to go for so long.
You need to start with understanding who God is because everything else stems from that - what God actually expects, your identity, seeing God at work, everything.
In addition, it’s important that we view the world - including our situations, circumstances, and experiences (past or present) - through the lens of God’s character and not the other way around.
Shifting to that perspective changes everything.
So for this step, I need you to do two things:
Set aside your own human-centric perspective. As best you can, stop focusing on trying to understand God through the lens of the world and your human perception of it. It’s not going to give you the answers you need.
Focus on building a solid foundation on who God really is. In other words, focus on understanding the basics of God’s character. This is where the a-ha! moments start happening.
If you’ve decided that I’m a trusted biblical source, you can easily dig into God’s character:
Firstly, you can utilize this podcast. This is a FREE resource that you can access 24/7/365 - and every episode touches on God’s character in some form. However, Episodes #133 and #130 would be a great place to start. Episode #133 digs into 5 character traits of God, while Episode #130 covers 10 biblical promises that God has made based on His character.
Secondly, take advantage of the mini courses. I have three foundational mini courses that will walk you through God’s character: Decode God’s Love, Demystify God’s Character, and Journey with Jesus. Every lesson within each course provides a strategic, bite-size building block to God’s character. So by the end of each course, you’ll have a very clear, biblical “bio” of who God is. And the workbooks will help you apply that knowledge to your relationship with God in a way that’s simple and effortless.
If you’re taking advantage of another trusted biblical source, be sure to zero in on God’s character as much as you can. Who He is, what His attributes are, how He interacts with us, etc.
God has several constant, never-changing attributes that are foundational to who He is - and to How we understand and interact with Him. This is where you want to focus.
3. Root Yourself in the Right Community
As I mentioned earlier, I know a lot of you are living in a geographical area where finding biblical truth is really difficult. In fact, just finding someone that’s willing to listen to your questions and struggles - without shutting you down - might also feel impossible.
So it’s only natural that, in addition to the challenge of finding biblical truth, you’ve also been struggling with the challenge of finding community.
A community that’s rooted in biblical truth - but that also understands what you’re going through. That is on the same journey, asking the same questions, and ultimately seeking the same thing - to be loved by God.
This is why I believe God directed me to create everything - mini courses, tool kits, etc. - inside an online community. (Which, by the way, is NOT Facebook, but a platform that’s separate and safe.)
If I would have had something like this at the beginning of my journey over 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have been so alone for so long.
Don’t get me wrong - God equipped me. Often supernaturally. He can always equip us despite our circumstances. But still, I walked alone in my former marriage (to a non-Christian) and even at my first church (which I attended for 7 or 8 years).
Now, though, God is using me to create a place that will ensure that you never have to be alone like I was.
And as I said, Relate Escape Place - which is the online community - is where the mini courses exist. So as you go through the lessons, you can ask questions on a dedicated chat thread.
You can post prayer requests or other needs. You can see what other women have gone through and learn from their experiences and not feel so alone.
You can easily connect with other women using the built-in AI-matching features. For example, it will suggest women who have similar interests to you based on what you fill out on your profile.
Whether you join Relate Escape Place or connect with women by another method, I can’t stress how important it is to have this kind of community.
So you can:
Continue to learn about God and His character.
Connect with women who are on the same journey as you are - which means they understand and support what you’re experiencing and what you’re aiming for. Women who aren’t going to shut you down when you share or ask questions, or shame you, or gaslight you.
Get prayer support. Satan, our spiritual enemy, is not going to be happy with you growing closer to God. He doesn’t want that. Plus, life is just complicated. So you need a trusted group of people who can pray for you and offer words of encouragement.
Again, finding an in-person community like this might be difficult. But keep your eyes open. Pray and ask God to direct you to a community that’s rooted in Him.
Maybe that’s one friend to start with.
Maybe there’s a person (or two) already in your life who is rooted in biblical truth, but you’re just not aware of it. Ask God to point out that person if she exists.
Or pray over joining Relate Escape Place.
Friend, you don’t need to do this alone.