In this episode, I share more about how this truth has played out in my own life — and the steps you can take to make it real in yours.
We Can Agree With a Truth Without Feeling Safe Enough to Receive It
This is especially true if we have experienced:
trauma (physical, emotional, mental, or sexual)
spiritual abuse
conditional love backgrounds
These experiences have taught us:
to constantly be on guard for danger
that “love” can lead to harm
that we need to protect ourselves
👉🏻 These tendencies aren’t a failure on our part. Our minds and nervous systems have learned to protect us.
However, this creates a challenge when it comes to letting in God’s love – despite His love being holy (i.e., 100% without evil or wickedness), safe, and healing.
💘 The good news is that God sees and understands our situation – and can help us overcome it.
When I became a Christian, I was married to an abusive man who ensured life was in a constant state of chaos. I was always on guard with him.
👟 Yet even in the middle of my chaotic marriage, God gently supplied me with biblical truth about His character and walked with me in ways that slowly moved me out of survival mode and into deeper safety with Him.
Friend, whatever trauma you’ve experienced…whatever situation you’re currently in…God can help you to feel safe with Him.
Real Love Requires Safety
👉🏻 This is one of the reasons why God’s love often doesn’t automatically land in the body.
If you’ve experienced human “love” in a manipulative, conditional, or dangerous way, then your nervous system has learned to remain guarded.
Thus, your nervous system probably wants to keep God’s love at a distance.
🛡️ Even if you understand how God’s love is different, your body hasn’t aligned itself with that truth yet. It still thinks it needs to protect you.
Friend, if you’ve been struggling to fully take in God’s love, know this: your heart hasn’t been resisting God — it’s probably been trying to protect you.
But that doesn’t mean God can’t help you feel safe in His love.
God’s Love is Truly Safe and Healing
👉🏻 God’s love is very different from human love – in very positive ways.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT): “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Psalm 136:1 (NLT): “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.”
God’s love offers:
A safe, consistent presence
Gentleness instead of pressure
Permission to feel what’s true
Space and time to heal
These are all part of God’s character, and we see that in the Bible.
✝️ For example, when we read about Jesus (the Son of God), it’s important to note that:
He didn’t rush people
He didn’t lecture, shame, or belittle wounded hearts
He was present and attentive; He listened; He touched their lives and hearts; and He focused on restoring what they’d lost; He healed
And He never put people in danger
In other words, Jesus provided:
A healing presence
Patience and gentleness instead of urgent legalism
A safe space to share one’s feelings and struggles
A living example of God meeting us where we are — not where we think we should be
Need a safe space to heal that’s filled with God’s love? Consider joining Relate Escape Place.
