Do You Feel Like You're Constantly Disappointing God?
👉🏻 You know:
Where you're falling short.
The habits you can't seem to break.
The areas where you're still struggling.
And every time you fail, you think:
"I should be further along by now."
"God must be so frustrated with me."
"I can't keep coming to Him with the same problem."
So you:
Try harder.
Promise yourself you'll do better.
Try to clean yourself up before you pray.
And when you inevitably fail again, the cycle starts all over.
🙈 The shame makes you want to hide. And hiding makes you feel even farther away from God.
👩🏻⚖️ Your relationship with Him becomes less about being known and loved and more about trying to prove that you're finally getting it right.
Do You Have to Fix Yourself Before Coming to God?
👉🏻 Here’s the thing, friend. There’s a lie underneath this sense of disappointment that you have.
And that lie is this: I have to fix myself before I can come to God.
Maybe you've absorbed the idea that God wants the "better version" of you.
The version who has conquered her struggles.
Who doesn't lose her temper.
Who doesn't doubt.
Who has her spiritual life together.
So you think: "I'll approach God when I'm doing better."
❤️🩹 But underneath that is an even deeper belief: Healing must come before a relationship with God.
As if you have to get healthy enough, holy enough, or spiritually mature enough before you're allowed to be close to Him.
But that would mean in the very moment you need God most is the moment you're least qualified to approach Him.
And that doesn't sound like good news.
If you had to heal yourself before coming to the ultimate Healer, you’d never get there.
God Invites You to Come as You Are
👉🏻 You don't have to become a finished product before you can have a relationship with your Heavenly Father.
In fact, throughout the Bible, God repeatedly meets people in the middle of their mess.
He meets people who are afraid.
People who are grieving.
People who are confused.
People who are ashamed.
People who have failed.
People who don't have their lives figured out.
For example, nowhere in the Gospels (the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) does Jesus tell someone who approached Him, "Go fix yourself, and then come back and find Me."
Instead, He moves toward people exactly where they are.
❤️🔥 That's because God's relationship with us isn't a reward for becoming whole. Relationship with God is how we become whole.
We don't clean ourselves up and then come to God. We come to God—and He begins transforming us from the inside out.
This doesn't mean God isn’t aware of–or doesn't care about–our sin or broken places.
He does.
✝️ But that’s why He wants us to come to Him. Because only He can wash away our sins and truly heal our pain and brokenness.
Which is why God’s invitation isn't: "Come back when you've finally gotten your act together."
It's simply: "Come to Me."
Bring the struggle.
Bring the questions.
Bring the shame.
Bring the thing you keep failing at.
Bring the part of your story you wish were different.
Friend, you don't have to hide those things from God before you can be close to Him.
You can bring them to Him.
Because He’s not standing at a distance, waiting for you to become worthy of a relationship.
💘 He's inviting you into a relationship because He loves you—and because He knows that transformation happens in His presence.
A Simple Way to Be Authentic with God
Here's one gentle step I'd like you to try this week.
💭 The next time you notice yourself thinking, "I'll pray when I get myself together," do the opposite.
🙏🏻 Pray right then and there.
Not a polished prayer.
Not the prayer you think a "good Christian" is supposed to pray.
Just an honest one.
You might simply say: "God, I don't know how to fix this. But I'm here."
Or: "God, I'm ashamed of this, and I don't want to hide from You anymore."
Or even: "God, I need You."
That's enough.
Let yourself practice approaching God before you've fixed the thing.
Because every time you do, you're reminding your heart that relationship with God isn't something you earn after becoming better.
It's the place where He meets you and begins to transform you.
Action Step
If you find the above exercise a bit daunting because you’re unsure about who God really is…
For example, perhaps you’ve been under the impression that God is harsh, distant, and judgemental…
Then I encourage you to spend a few minutes taking my free quiz, What's Your First Step to Fully Experiencing God’s Love?.
It was created to help women explore how they currently relate to God and discover practical ways to move toward a healthier understanding of His character and love for you.